


What Friends Do

by Shenandoah76209



Category: The Big Bang Theory (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-07-07 12:12:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15908043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shenandoah76209/pseuds/Shenandoah76209
Summary: The boys are back from the Arctic. Penny's missed all of them, the nice guy who loves her so much who she really likes, and her favorite whackadoodle of a best friend. But when Sheldon comes to confront Leonard in her apartment, Penny is Not pleased with what Leonard has done. Shenny. Read at your own peril.





	1. Part I

She'd be the first to admit that she didn't understand the science. She wasn't sure what the Arctic had to do with proving that monopoles exist but she knew that it was far away, cold and that her troupe of nerdy guys weren't in their usual places for far too long. She missed talking to them, having them explain science fiction to her, missed doing laundry with Sheldon and the silly back and forth teasing they did. If he hadn’t made it clear that he wasn’t interested in dating she’d have made a pass at him a long time ago. But he was pretty much her best friend. And that wasn’t anything to sneeze at. It had been a long three months without him, them, she corrected herself.

She'd been happy to see them, happy to see Leonard, she'd missed him, missed all of them. Sheldon had greeted her as if he’d only been gone at work for a day rather than months. That was just so Sheldon. Leonard had been much more enthusiastic, and she’d practically jumped him when he'd come knocking at her door. Even if it wasn’t love, she liked him, and he was a nice guy and he loved her, and they’d be good together if it worked out, right? She’d just about decided to give him the chance he wanted so badly. When Sheldon had come knocking she'd been less thrilled at being interrupted but she'd let him in. At least they’d only been making out at the time.

Sheldon had nodded to her politely, but he'd zeroed in on Leonard, "Wolowitz has informed me of your grand deception. Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

She'd watched as Leonard had then proceeded to blow Sheldon off, "Yes, I feel terrible about it. I will never forgive myself, I don’t expect you to either, and I would really appreciate it if you would leave me with Penny for a session of self-criticism and repentance." Leonard's puppy eyes had no effect on Sheldon's mood whatsoever. Her stomach twisted when she remembered all the times he'd used that same look on her.

"Okay, can someone please tell me what’s going on here?" Penny looked at the two of them, completely lost as to what was happening. Admittedly that wasn't an uncommon occurrence around her friends but this was happening in her apartment and that wasn't cool. Plus she'd never seen that look on Sheldon's face before. Furious and shattered at the same time.

Sheldon had done his best to enlighten her, "What’s going on is I was led to believe I was making groundbreaking strides in science, when in fact, I was being fed false data at the hands of Wolowitz, Koothrappali and your furry little boy toy."

She'd ignored his derogatory term for Leonard looking at her potential boyfriend, "Is that true?" Vaguely she was aware that she sounded like one of those stupid heroines she had apparently always judged way too harshly.

"It was the only way to make him happy." Leonard was trying to justify it. That much was patently obvious.

"Why did you have to make him happy?" She frowned at him. Sheldon was unhappy a lot of the time and no one ever seemed concerned about it before.

"Because when he wasn’t happy, we wanted to kill him." Leonard retorted. "There was even a plan." Penny could only stare at him, unable to believe what he was saying. "We were going to throw his Kindle outside, and when he went to get it, lock the door and let him freeze to death."

Of course Sheldon had an opinion on that, "That seems like a bit of an overreaction."

Penny sighed and Leonard rolled his eyes. "No, the overreaction was the plan to tie your limbs to four different sled dog teams and yell mush. Look, we kept the original data. You can still publish the actual results."

Sheldon shook his head, "Yes, but the actual results are unsuccessful and I’ve already sent an e-mail to everyone at the university explaining that I have confirmed string theory and forever changed man’s understanding of the universe."

Penny frowned as Leonard began to turn the conversation around on Sheldon, "Aw, see, yeah, you probably shouldn’t have done that. So write another e-mail, set the record straight, it’s no big deal."

Sheldon seemed to take that in the spirit it was meant, it hadn't escaped her notice, nor Sheldon's most likely, that Leonard hadn't really even apologized. "You’re right, Leonard, it’s not a big deal. All you did was lie to me destroy my dream and humiliate me in front of the whole university. That, FYI, was sarcasm. I, in fact, believe it is a big deal."

He stormed out of her apartment and Penny looked after him, worried. "Oh, the poor thing."

"Yeah, I feel terrible." Leonard nodded, moving towards her again.

Penny stared at him and wondered if Leonard even realized what he was doing. She'd seen Sheldon's face. She hadn't ever seen him look like that. As if someone had told him that logic didn't exist, Star Trek was hokum and physics were being replaced by classes in literature. And for once a man telling her he wanted her didn't seem so important. "I think you'd better go Leonard."

"But--" There'd been whining and pleading and she really hadn't been able to bring herself to care. She walked past him out her still open door and into his apartment. Sheldon was at his desk typing something in his email account, "Sheldon? Sweetie? Are you all right?"

"I'm in perfect physical condition Penny thank you for asking," His reply was polite, honest and completely uninformative.

"What are you doing?" She moved so she was within his eye line, ignoring Leonard as he entered the apartment behind her.

"I'm explaining that I was premature in proclaiming the success of our experiment and tendering my resignation so that I can return to Texas in disgrace forthwith," Sheldon told her quietly and without any visible emotion. Leonard had poutingly continued onto his room with his bags, thus missing the conversation.

"But..." Penny shook her head and shut his laptop before he could type anymore, "Come with me Sheldon." She took his unresisting hand and pulled him back to her apartment. The fact that he wasn't arguing or trying to remove his hand from her grip told her more than she wanted to know. Sitting him down on her couch she looked him in the eye, "Sheldon, I don't know if you know this, but you are...well you're my best friend. You give me advice, you've lent me money, and you've been as kind to me as you know how. I've done my best to be a good friend to you but I can't be as good a friend if you won't tell me what's wrong and let me help."

He stared at her uncomprehendingly and shook his head, "Penny you don't possess a time travel device, you don't have the ability to hack the mainframe of the college and you can't change the inevitable result of what has occurred, so I don't really see how you could help."

"Sheldon, I'm the first to admit that I don't understand what you do. And I don't understand exactly what Leonard did. I just know it was really bad. But if you tell me what happened...I can support you. And I can help you try to fix it," Penny tried. "I can at least listen if you talk about it. Sheldon, I'm on your side." She touched his shoulder gently, "Do you understand that? I might not always agree with you Sheldon, but I'm always on your side."

"Even against Leonard?" Sheldon was looking at her with that lost expression that proclaimed just how every contest of friendship ever went in his life. She could read on his face that no one had ever chosen him over anyone else, not when something as simple and important as friendship was concerned.

And that pissed her off more than anything else. Why couldn't people see that he might be finicky and fussy and overly precise but he had a heart that was huge and starved for affection and attention for something other than his brain. She knew he was one of the beautiful mind guys and she'd never understand what went on in his head, but she got his heart. Sometimes she thought she was the only one who did. "Yes Sheldon, even against Leonard. Against Raj, and Howard and anybody else. Even Captain Sweatpants and Stuart. Definitely Leslie Winkle and Kripke. I'm on your side against your mother even." She nodded firmly and sat next to him on the couch, "Now I know you were going to figure out how to find those monopoles. I'm guessing it didn't work out that way?"

There was a knock at her door and she huffed in annoyance, "Don't move, sweetie. I'll get rid of whoever it is."

"It'll be Leonard again. He wants to..." Sheldon let his word drift away uncomfortably.

Penny ignored the door and concentrated on Sheldon, "Did he say something to you Sheldon? That you didn't like?" She knew how Sheldon felt about gossip. He was rude about some things but in others he was a complete gentleman.

"I'm not comfortable repeating it, but he was hoping to...be welcomed back with enthusiasm," Sheldon prevaricated and Penny nodded her understanding. She'd bet that Leonard, with the encouragement of Raj and Howard had phrased it on somewhat less romantic or polite terms. But that was Sheldon to the end, bluntly scientific or courteously circumspect. You just never knew which way he'd go on any given topic.

The knocking sounded again and she rolled her eyes, "Just a second sweetie. I really am going to get rid of whoever it is. Especially if it's Leonard. Then I'm going to make you some tea and we'll have some of those sugar cookies you like and you'll tell me what happened."

She stalked over to the door and jerked it open, "Yes Leonard?" She wasn't surprised it was him. He never had any patience.

"I was wondering if I could come in? Talk? I missed you," Leonard was giving her the puppy eyes. Again. Penny frowned. She hadn't wanted him to go, had missed him for a couple of weeks and then realized she'd missed all of them, especially her favorite whack-a-doodle pal. Nobody else talked to her the way Sheldon did. He never talked down to her, as if she was the dumb blonde next door. She’d always liked Sheldon but he’d never given any indication of interest. And Leonard was so nice and sweet and really liked her a lot. She'd thought she and Leonard had something special, had happily kissed him, would have 'welcomed him back with enthusiasm', had she not heard what he'd done to Sheldon. That wasn’t sweet, or nice; and neither was talking with Howard and Raj about getting her in bed. She'd already kicked him out once and he hadn't gotten the message.

"I missed you guys too," Penny smiled coolly. "But I'm in the middle of something. Maybe we can talk tomorrow after I finish my shift at work?"

"Yeah, uh, sure," He nodded brightening up. "We could get dinner."

Penny refrained from mentioning that she wouldn't be in any mood to go out again after working a ten hour shift on her feet but smiled politely and then shut the door in his face. As an afterthought, she twisted the deadbolt. Then she went to her little kitchen to make tea and put the cookies on a plate. Sheldon was regarding her in something like amazement. "You didn't let Leonard in," He marveled.

"Of course not sweetie," She tilted her head. "I've only got chamomile, is that all right? You don't mind it making you sleepy?"

"I don't normally enjoy artificial sleep aids but at this point I suspect it can only help," He admitted. She turned to see his long fingers nervously plucking at themselves.

"All right, kettle's on," Penny got out the honey and sugar and some of her skim milk because she liked it in her tea and waited. Sheldon didn't say anything. Finally, the water boiled, the kettle whistled and she brought the whole kit and caboodle over to the coffee table so he could dip his teabag exactly as much as he liked and pour the boiling water on top of said teabag. Ritual completed Penny watched as he deftly removed the tea bag and set it aside before doctoring his tea with honey and a little milk. For an added sleep aid she guessed since he didn't normally use it. "Spill the beans Sheldon."

"I must ask you to refrain from interruption," Sheldon cautioned her. "I do not find this to be a particularly happy tale and as it is I who must relive it I would like to do so as quickly as possible."

Penny nodded, "I get that Sheldon. I'll bite my tongue." She waited expectantly and part of her half expecting the story to being with the immortal phrase 'it was a warm summer evening in ancient Greece'. But it didn't. It wasn't even remotely funny. It was cold and cruel and filled with betrayal of the worst kind. Because they'd promised to help. He'd trusted them with the most important thing in the world to him and they'd betrayed that.

When he was done she looked at him and took a deep breath and realized he was waiting for something, "How did you find out?" She asked finally. "I mean... Did they really just tell you? When... I mean... You said you'd already emailed the results to Caltech."

"They told me right before I came over to speak with Leonard," Sheldon's voice was bitter. "Too late of course. They waited until we were here, in the building, after I'd already emailed my colleagues of our success. Then they told me."

Penny stared at him, "That's what you meant, about going back to Texas in disgrace?" She shook her head, "No. You're not leaving." She shook her head. "You stay here tonight. Tell me what clothes you want and anything you need from your apartment. Or could I just grab your suitcase?"

"What do you mean no?" Sheldon shook his head, "Penny I'm publically disgraced. I'm a laughingstock. And I couldn't even figure it out on my own."

"I mean I'm not letting you fall on your sword for this," Penny retorted. "This isn't your fault. They're supposed to be your friends. They're scientists, like you. You trusted them." She folded her arms. "Now drink your tea and get my extra sheets out of the bathroom closet. You'll feel better with clean sheets on the bed. Give me the old ones and I'll make up a bed on the couch. Now, can I just grab your luggage or do you need to make me a list?"

"My luggage will be fine, thank you," Sheldon was staring at her in bewilderment still. "But why?"

"You didn't finish the email did you?" Penny realized, "You haven't told anyone yet? That you’re leaving I mean? And the results were wrong?"

"No, you interrupted me," Sheldon told her standing up as she did in automatic courtesy. "You do that quite a bit Penny."

"Yep," She nodded. "Go on and make up the bed sweetie, just dump the used sheets on the couch. I'll grab your bag." Penny was fuming as she grabbed her emergency key and stalked over to the boys' apartment. Sheldon's bag was by his computer desk. His laptop was open and she grabbed it as an afterthought along with its case. Bringing it all back to her apartment wasn't hard. Leonard was undoubtedly in his room sulking that she hadn't welcomed him back with open arms and legs.

Sheldon was carefully making up the couch for her as when she entered her place and she blinked at him in surprise. "It seemed rude to just 'dump' them on the couch. Especially as you are kindly offering me sanctuary."

"Thanks," Penny smiled and went to put his things in her room. "Here's the deal sweetie," She began. "Tomorrow morning you're going to get dressed, and we're going to see your boss. I'm going to drive you to Caltech and I'll stay with you the whole time for moral support. We're going to tell him exactly what those jerks did to you."

"What will that accomplish?" Sheldon asked weakly as she took the sheets from his hands and ruthlessly turned the couch into a bed. He followed her into the bedroom where she began to put fresh sheets on her bed. "Other than further humiliation?"

"Sheldon, it costs money to send people to the Arctic, and the university invested that money in you and your experiment," Penny didn't have much of an education but she knew that everything cost something. "The guys screwed it up. It'd be one thing if the experiment itself produced...well nothing. You told me even a failed experiment can be useful. But you didn't even get to disprove your theory right? Because they screwed with the data. So you don't have..." She looked at him helplessly for a minute... "I can't think of what you call it. All that's popping into my head right now is AC/DC for some reason."

"Oh, you're thinking of positive and negative," Sheldon awarded her an approving smile. "A very nice correlation Penny. You have more scientific knowledge than you realize."

"Thanks." She couldn't help grinning at him, "Basically what you got out of the experiment is a big fat goose egg Sheldon, which means those three messed with not only a scientific inquiry but with the university's money. In my experience, no one likes that. It would be like me, busting my butt to wait on a table full of people only to find out that half of them can't pay and the other half won't even leave me a tip. All that work, time and energy for nothing, you know? And CalTech is this really important place and they get money from the government. Screwing with an experiment like that…I think that’s fraud or something."

He thought about that for a moment, “Technically fraud is planned, so it would only be fraud if they intended to sabotage my experiment from the start.”

Penny sighed, “But it’s still wrong honey. And you shouldn’t lose your job because of it. I’ll help you explain. If nothing else, having me there might make things easier for you, I’m your friend, but I’m also better at social interactions.” When he looked skeptical she persisted, "I know I'm not as smart as you and I definitely don't have a doctorate but I do know how to talk to people."

Sheldon nodded slowly, "I don't completely understand but I trust you Penny. If you say we should go to see Doctor Gablehauser in the morning then we will. But will you be able to arrive at the Cheesecake Factory in a timely manner?"

"I lied to Leonard," Penny smirked. "I took tomorrow off because I wanted to spend it with you guys. Now I'll just be spending it with you. My best friend. It actually works out."

"That's...remarkably kind of you Penny, to use your limited free time in pursuit of helping me," Sheldon looked shy. "I really don't think there are enough gift baskets in the world to repay you. Even if I am still disgraced, you will have tried to help me and that's more than anyone else has done." Penny smiled; he looked helpless, like he wasn't sure of what to do, "Would a hug serve as a partial thank you?" He finally asked, "It can't be enough but you seemed, at Saturnalia, to like it..."

"Sheldon, anytime you want to thank me, a hug is always more than adequate," Penny assured him. "Don't do it if you're not comfortable though. You've had a hard day. I don't want to break your beautiful mind."

He'd smiled, very sweetly, "I don't think I'll be uncomfortable Penny." Sheldon then tentatively wrapped his arms around her and she was cuddled into a gentle, albeit slightly boney, embrace.

* * *

 

Morning wasn’t as awkward as she’d thought it would be. Sheldon had gone out and bought the makings for eggs and bacon as a thank you for putting him up for the night and between the two of them they managed get everything cooked and cleaned up. Sheldon was actually very quick to dress for work. Penny was having a harder time.

“Penny, I doubt informing Doctor Gablehauser of the failure will be received better by making him wait for the bad news,” Sheldon was fretting in her living room.

“I’m sorry Sheldon, I just want to look nice and responsible, so I don’t embarrass you in front of your boss,” Penny finally admitted aloud and to herself the cause of her dithering, (Sheldon’s word not hers) in front of her closet.

“I don’t see the problem. You always look nice, though it is a bland and inadequate way to convey how attractive you are. And you either are responsible or not. Appearances don’t aid in that quality,” Sheldon’s voice was confused and she could picture his expression. “You’re very responsible about some things. Not so much about others. Like putting your clean laundry away. Honestly Penny, I offered to help with that.”

“Hang on, I think I’ve got something,” Penny had already done her make up and hair, so it was a matter of pulling on the dress she’d bought for a very boring acquaintance’s wedding and finding shoes that matched. Thankfully she had some leopard pumps that perked the gold and brown shirtdress up some.

When she came out Sheldon looked at her thoughtfully, “I think I understand what you mean now. You don’t look like your typical self. I think the phrase is…toned down?”

She grinned at him and grabbed her purse and keys, “That was the idea sweetie. I want to impress him as your friend, not as a…beach bunny.”

“He cannot fail to find you impressive,” Sheldon reassured her. “Admittedly he isn’t as intelligent as I am, but he is not stupid.”

* * *

 

The drive, avoiding Euclid, didn’t take long and soon enough they were waiting outside Doctor Gablehauser’s office for him to arrive for the day. Sheldon had pointed out some of the more distinctive buildings on campus when she’d expressed an interest and had seemed gratified that she wanted to hear about the place where he worked.

When Sheldon’s boss walked in he was surprised to see Sheldon waiting quietly for him and did a double take when he realized that Penny was with Doctor Cooper. Penny noticed he recovered pretty quickly and guessed that anyone who worked with people like Kripke, Leonard and Raj as well as Sheldon had to have a pretty high weirdness threshold. The ability to think on your feet came in handy too, she thought as Sheldon courteously held the door to Gabelhauser’s private office for her.

“Doctor Cooper, what is it I can do for you? And may I offer my congratulations on the success of your experiment,” Doctor Gablehauser smiled as he gestured to the chairs in front of his desk and took a seat himself.

“I am afraid that your congratulations, like my belief in success, are premature,” Sheldon began slowly. Penny watched his face and shook her head, gently laying a hand on his arm to stop him.

“Let me tell him sweetie, this is hard enough for you,” Penny smiled as Sheldon’s blue eyes brightened in unspoken thanks before turning to his boss. Her smile faded as she looked at the distinguished man in front of her. “Sheldon and the boys came home yesterday, and apparently, things didn’t go so well in the artic as the boys led Sheldon to believe.”

“Didn’t go so well,” Sheldon snorted. “Penny you might as well call the San Andreas fault a little crack.”

“Compared to the earth and its size, it is a little crack,” Penny retorted. “But I see your point,” She looked at Doctor Gablehauser. “Sheldon sent you and the others that email before he was told that Leonard, Howard and Raj had deliberately sabotaged the experiment.” She watched as the doctor’s expression grew stony, “If you know Sheldon at all, you know that science is…well it’s the one thing on which he won’t compromise his ethics. I’ve seen him bend over backwards to accommodate the other three in a lot of ways, despite what they seem to think of him, but not scientifically.”

“Doctor Cooper,” Gablehauser looked sternly at Sheldon whose expression was blank with betrayal and anguish. “Why did you not inform me of this immediately upon discovering it?”

“I stopped him,” Penny didn’t let Sheldon answer. “Sheldon was writing you an email announcing the experiment’s failure and his intention to quit and move back to Texas. I didn’t think you’d want that to happen, and I didn’t want Sheldon to leave because of something the guys did.”

“Well in that you are correct, though I could wish we’d talked about this last night, the sooner the better,” Doctor Gablehauser sighed. “Doctor Cooper, I want to make it clear that I will not accept your resignation over this.” He steepled his hands and regarded his young colleague, “I’d like to hear the sequence of events at the Arctic. Specifically, the course of your experiment, and when you began to see these false results.”

Penny listened as Sheldon began to recount everything that had happened, three weeks of failed results, everyone’s increasing irritation, including his own and the first day he’d gotten a positive indicator of monopoles. He produced his laptop with its log of the data. He described the varying tests, the general mood of the group improving and by the time their trip was done, he proclaimed himself almost giddy with pleasure over proving the existence of monopoles.

“Then of course, I sent you the email with our reports as soon as I was within suitable distance of the university,” Sheldon looked at Penny. “I couldn’t send it from the plane so I had to wait until we were in the car. And on the plane I’d been double checking my notes and verifying that all the calculations were accurate one last time.”

Penny nodded her understanding, “I still don’t see why they waited until you had sent the email and before they told you. I mean it wouldn’t have been so bad to come home and the experiment failed right? Because that happens. And you always told me that even a failed experiment has the potential to teach something.”

"I suspect it had something to do with not wanting to listen to me speak any further," Sheldon admitted with a sigh. "I was very excited. We had triumphed. My theory had been proven correct and they were part of the team that had proven it. Apparently, I grew more irksome as we neared the apartment."

Doctor Gablehauser's gaze had sharpened, "Were they aware that you were emailing myself and your other colleagues?"

"I fail to see how they could have been unaware. Leonard kept reprimanding me for asking questions while he was driving. Raj suggested that the notification could wait until I'd had some sleep," Sheldon was frowning thoughtfully. "He's not the most forceful of my friends or associates, that distinction actually goes to Penny, but he made the attempt several times to prevent me from sending the email."

"What about Howard and Leonard," Penny asked him. She was well aware that her voice was chilly over their names.

Sheldon regarded her with a slightly confused look, "Howard was sleeping in the back seat. Leonard was driving. Leonard was curt when I attempted to verify data with him, he said 'I was the one with the perfect memory, why did I need his input'. In retrospect perhaps his conscience was bothering him, but it seems unlikely considering Howard and Raj were the ones who 'fessed up' as it were and explained Leonard had come up with the deception in the first place."

"In other words, Doctor Koothrappali attempted to keep you from public humiliation while Mr. Wolowitz was oblivious, though exhaustion would explain that, and Doctor Hofstadter was actively hostile," Doctor Gablehauser summarized. "Doctor Cooper, you aren't due back in your office for another two days. I suggest you take them and try to relax. I'll be doing some administrative work and calling the other members of your team in. Please don't say anything to them about our meeting."

"You'll have to avoid them sweetie," Penny told Sheldon who was looking worried and explained to Doctor Gablehauser. "Sheldon can't lie to save his life," She turned back to Sheldon, "You can stay with me. We'll wait until Leonard is out of the apartment and get some more of your stuff."

"Doctor Cooper, your work has always been exemplary even when our interpersonal communications have been difficult," Sheldon's boss was trying to be nice apparently. Penny smiled as the man continued, "I truly do wish to keep you at this university." He frowned, "I had forgotten that Doctor Hofstadter was your roommate."

"It'll be all right, I live across the hall so Sheldon can bring his white boards over and hang out there while we're avoiding Leonard," Penny assured the man. "Right now I'm gonna take Sheldon out for some lunch and then we're gonna hit the comic book store."

"Really?" Sheldon looked so pleased at the thought Penny was glad she'd set it. "I could pick up all the comics Stuart set aside for me."

"And you'll have something to read while I'm at work tomorrow," Penny nodded.

"Well I suggest the two of you enjoy your day," Doctor Gablehauser regarded Doctor Cooper with a little frown. "Doctor Cooper, may I ask, given this situation, and how it came about, is it safe to assume that you will not wish to work with these three associates again?"

"That is an accurate assumption," Sheldon nodded. "Though I hold Raj and Howard slightly less responsible than I do Leonard. Since, according to the two of them, it was Leonard's idea. Additionally Raj did try to stop me sending the email and Howard was unaware I was doing so. And the two of them did ultimately confess to the sabotage. But they went along with it and not only betrayed me but betrayed science and the university's code of ethics. I dislike absolutes but in this instance, I feel it is safe to say you are correct, at least until they have proven themselves trustworthy once again."

"I thought as much," Doctor Gablehauser nodded. "Thank you very much for coming in and taking the time to explain all this in person. Why don't you try and enjoy some time with your lovely girlfriend. It's good to see you have someone in your corner Doctor Cooper. And please don't communicate further regarding the experiment, I'll take care of the retraction."

Penny could recognize a dismissal when she heard one and tugged at Sheldon's arm to get him out of the office. Sheldon was still reeling in shock over what his boss had assumed, and it wasn't until they were out in the hallway that he managed to speak. "Penny, that was, Doctor Gablehauser assumed that we, that we're--"

"I know sweetie," Penny could recognize the beginnings of a breakdown when she saw them. "Let's set that issue aside for now and go have lunch. What food day is this for you?"

"Oh," Sheldon frowned she could see him retrieving the information from his big brain, "Today is the day they usually serve chicken salad in the cafeteria."

"Do you want to eat here?" Penny looked around dubiously and wondered if that would be staying under the radar like his boss had wanted.

"Not particularly," Sheldon shook his head. "But I don't have any alternate suggestions."

Penny smiled, "Why don't I surprise you then sweetie. I know the places you like and I know the places that have good kitchens. So you should be safe with me right?"

"Your experience in food service does give you an edge in evaluating the health and safety of a restaurant," Sheldon nodded.

She patted his arm, "C'mon then. I'm gonna take you to one of the best chicken places I know."

* * *

 

Sheldon had been worried until he'd seen the way the servers cleaned down the booths. And Penny had noticed his sharp eyes take in the gleaming kitchen visible behind the lunch counter. But he'd asked Penny questions about the menu, not the waitress and his order hadn't been overly fussy.

He'd given his meal the attention it deserved and then finally he looked at Penny with a worried expression. "Penny, even if I can avoid Leonard at work, he still lives at the apartment. Your kindness is most appreciated, but I can't stay with you forever."

"Honey, I never understood why you had a roommate to begin with," Penny shrugged at him as she at her salad. "You have more than enough money to pay the rent on your own." She tilted her head, "I really thought you were saving up for a house or something and that's why you had a room mate. But you didn't seem interested in a house."

"A house," Sheldon's face grew far away. "You mean with a yard and a laundry room and a kitchen I wouldn't have to share with someone who's lactose intolerant?" He made a wry face, "I might be able to swing enough for a good down payment in another year if I could tolerate Leonard as a room mate. But I don't know if I'd be able to handle a mortgage, insurance and all the things that come along with a house on my own. Inevitably there will be repairs and basic upkeep which I've learned can be quite prohibitive."

"So you rent out a room to someone you know. Or you buy a place that has a detached garage with an apartment over it and you rent that out to a student," Penny shrugged. "I just hate to think of you in that apartment with Leonard for another year." She added with a frown. A thought occurred to her and she blurted it out before she thought better of it, "Isn't there something in the roommate agreement about betrayal or anything? At all?"

Sheldon seemingly changed the subject, "How is your financial situation Penny?"

"Oh, well," She shrugged, "Its never great. But I'm getting by. With you guys gone all summer I picked up a lot of extra shifts. And the tips were decent. So I tried to pay as much of my credit cards as I could and I had my car checked out." Penny grinned, "Its fine. They say there's nothing wrong with the engine. Just the engine light apparently."

"Have you been putting anything into savings?" Sheldon's eyes were shrewd and she sighed.

"No, I wanted to get one of the credit cards paid off so I could give it to you and you could keep it for emergencies for me," Penny confessed. "I knew I could trust you with it. I've only got a couple hundred left to pay on it."

His smile was very approving and he nodded, "I'm very proud of you. That is a very well thought out decision." Sheldon's blue eyes fixed on her with a very thoughtful expression. "I asked because there is something in the room mate agreement that I could use to remove Leonard immediately rather than wait another four months for his annual roommate review. At which time I would terminate the roommate agreement. But I think you'll agree that the quicker Leonard is out of the apartment the better."

"Oh?" Penny arched an eyebrow curiously and Sheldon's smile could only be termed a smirk as he answered her.

"There is a clause which says that should either of the two signatories become a supervillain that the other is obligated to request that they immediately vacate the apartment, unless of course they wish to become a minion," Sheldon offered. "There is also a paragraph Leonard insisted on which said that if either of us acquired a significant other the other signatory would be obliged to find other accommodations if that significant other wished to share the apartment, in place of the roommate. He insisted we add that to the roommate agreement shortly after tricking you into going out on your date."

Penny frowned, "It's your apartment, why would you sign anything like that?"

"Oh, mostly it was to humor him, but I also stated that should he acquire a girlfriend and wish to apply the terms of that clause he was required to give me four months notice so I could make other arrangements, and that he assume, in written contractual form, all obligations for the apartment, such as paying me the security deposit. As I am the primary signatory on the lease he agreed to those terms." Sheldon almost smirked, "Of course I made certain the terms could only be applied to him, since it is my apartment and if he failed the roommate review I wanted the ability to terminate the agreement immediately."

Penny was glad she didn't have anything to eat or drink in her mouth when Sheldon had dropped that little grenade. She'd expected something like the supervillain clause. Or a non-support clause. The significant other clause was completely out of the blue. She was vividly conscious of staring at him for a solid minute before she finally formulated a question, "Which of those options were you thinking of using sweetie?"

"Well, I wanted your opinion," Sheldon seemed a bit nervous. "I hesitate to ask you if you would move in under false pretenses. Though I cannot deny the appeal of your company I've never had a girlfriend. You're the first girl who's been a friend and it seems the height of folly to assume myself fortunate enough that you would enjoy a dual role in my life. I've been told that I am quite difficult to live with and unreasonably demanding. Additionally, I've been assured that if friends start to date if it goes badly the friendship is usually ruined and cannot be reset to its platonic parameters. I do not wish to lose you as a friend." He frowned, "But though I find Leonard's actions worthy of supervillain status I don't know that anyone else would."

"I do," Penny said fiercely. She grinned suddenly. "Tell you what Sheldon. You tell Leonard he has to leave because of the supervillain clause. If he argues too much you tell him that you are then exercising the girlfriend clause. If he wants to know who you tell him it's me. You spent last night in my apartment and you spent today with me. And I'm packing up my apartment as we speak. He can take over my lease if he needs somewhere to stay."

Sheldon's smile tilted charmingly and he looked down, "So would I be lying to Leonard?"

"No," Penny grinned at him. "I am a girl and I am your friend. Technically I am your girlfriend. And if you ever ask me out then we can have a date and we might make it past technical. But I'm not going to push you on that sweetie."

"Would you mind if we skipped the comic book store then," Sheldon asked hopefully. "I'll help you pack. We can retrieve my moving boxes from my storage unit in the basement. If Leonard has gone out we could move you in today."

"You kept your moving boxes sweetie? Why?" Penny wrinkled her nose.

"You misunderstand. I kept the plastic containers and covers I used to move. They are airtight when sealed and are perfect for long or short term storage. Especially for vintage collectibles." Sheldon explained. "They were a considerable investment but well worth it I thought. And they didn't take anymore space than cardboard boxes."

She grinned, nodding her understanding. "That makes a lot more sense knowing you." Penny's grin turned into a giggle, "I don't mind skipping the comic book store Sheldon. But I am curious as to how you're going to get Leonard packed up and moved and me the same in one day. With just us two doing the moving."

"Oh," Sheldon blinked at her and his tilted smile was back. "I'm going to hire a small moving company. There are several that are available on short notice and are bonded. You and I pack up your private things and the food in your fridge and then we'll have them do the heavy lifting. I will have them pack Leonard's belongings first and keep them in the hall. We can procure cardboard boxes from the grocery store for his things."

Penny nodded slowly, "We'll have to clean and tag go or stay on the furniture I guess." She was thinking of how her things would fit in Sheldon's apartment. "Will my things fit?"

Well your couch might not," Sheldon conceded. "But the leather couch is too large for your apartment so Leonard can't take that. The chair maybe and the coffee table, but then we'd have room for your coffee table and if we moved his desk we could fit your entertainment center." He was drawing up a little plan on the paper napkin and Penny leaned over to look.

"My bed will fit in his room though," She'd seen Leonard's room when she'd been nursing sick Sheldon and it was larger than her current bedroom.

"Yes," Sheldon began another little plan for the bedroom. "I believe you'll be more comfortable than Leonard as a roommate. You don't have dietary restrictions and you like to cook."

Penny felt herself blushing, "Apparently I snore, when its allergy season." She admitted and was surprised when Sheldon actually grinned.

"I know, I've heard you," His blue eyes were mischievous. "If you slept on your side you wouldn't."

"I never sleep on my side unless someone's holding me that way," Penny shook her head. "I even tried one of those cuddle pillows back when I was someone else's roommate and it didn't help."

His gaze turned more wicked than she would ever have credited him with and he nodded, "Your snoring doesn't bother me Penny. I slept just fine when I heard it before. It was a nice subconscious reminder that I wasn't alone in the apartment. You were there." Sheldon's smile was slow and dangerously sweet, "But if you insist we could put it in the roommate agreement that if the snoring bothers you so much you can sleep with me and I'll hold you so you stay on your side." He blushed when he said it but he still said it.

Penny gaped at him and he kept grinning at her, "Bazinga?" She asked not sure what answer she was hoping for, yes or no.

"Not completely," Sheldon shook his head. "You've...acclimated me Penny. I'm better at hugs now. I'm better at touching other people. You've been in my room and sang soft kitty to me. I don't particularly like women. But I really like you. I'm not...averse to asking you on a date. But I...I'm not good at interaction."

She wasn't sure what was more surprising, Sheldon admitting that he'd like to ask her out or admitting that he wasn't good at something. And he'd been actually...flirting, or a very good imitation of it, with her. "Sheldon, would you say that I'm good at interaction?"

"You're an expert at it. You could really, if they offered such things, have a doctorate in interaction and social adaptability," Sheldon nodded.

"So when you're ready you can ask me out. And I'll help with the interaction bits," Penny offered as gently as she could. "After all, I know you. I don't expect you to suddenly change. I like you the way you are or I wouldn't be your friend."

"Then we agree that your snoring is a non-issue?" Sheldon asked hopefully and she couldn't help grinning at him.

"It's a total non-issue sweetie," She looked at the little floorplans he'd made. "How much of what's in your apartment will we have to replace? I mean when Leonard takes his stuff out?"

"Very little," Sheldon shrugged as he finished his meal. "I was in the habit of procuring storage such as the shelving whenever we required more of it so it isn't his. Most of the DVD collection isn't even his."

"And he implied I was a mooch?" Penny muttered as she folded her napkin and tidied her plate and silverware into a neatly stacked pile the waitress would find easy to take away. After watching her Sheldon did the same thing.

"I don't mean to imply that Leonard doesn't purchase things. But he has the tendency to keep them in his room," Sheldon shrugged. "I never minded much. And now it saves us having to go through the DVD collection. If he objects I have all my receipts."

Penny chuckled, "Somehow hon, that doesn't surprise me one bit."

* * *

 

With Sheldon helping it didn't take much to pack up her apartment. Leonard left Sheldon's apartment shortly after they returned from lunch and Sheldon took that opportunity to print out the appropriate roommate termination papers. Penny boxed up her clothes and shoes in the boxes Sheldon retrieved for her and Sheldon began to pack her kitchenware. Sadly the movers couldn't come until the next day but that didn't mean Sheldon and her couldn't make a start on her things. And Sheldon was happily cleaning the apartment as well.

When Leonard returned they heard him almost right away. His furious pounding on Penny's door as they were enjoying their meal of spaghetti with hotdogs cut up in it made it obvious that he'd seen the paperwork Sheldon had left on his bed.

Penny sighed and opened the door. "Gee Leonard, was there something you wanted?" Her voice dripped with honey as she stared at him coolly.

"Sheldon, you wanna catch me up?" Leonard waved the papers wildly.

Sheldon sighed heavily and stood, folding his napkin neatly and coming to stand in the doorway beside Penny. "About what do you need clarification Leonard? I believe the paperwork is quite clear."

"I am not a supervillain!"

Penny sighed and shook her head. "You betrayed your best friend. That kinda makes you a supervillain."

"I disagree." Leonard shook his head. "And I'm not moving out."

Penny rolled her eyes, "Leonard, Sheldon was trying to spare your feelings, even though you don't deserve it. You're moving out because I'm moving in. I'm Sheldon's girlfriend."

Leonard sputtered for a moment and then began laughing. Penny sighed and looked up at Sheldon wondering what they were supposed to do now.

Sheldon's hands on her shoulders and his mouth pressing to hers was a surprise, if a pleasant one, and when she made a pleased sound in her throat, his lips moved minutely over hers, a tiny sweet caress. When he pulled back his eyes were shining brightly down at her and he was smiling that sweet little smile she loved to see.

"Sheldon," Leonard's voice was almost squeaking. "You didn't say bazinga."

"Because there is no bazinga Leonard. Penny is my girlfriend. She is moving in with me, therefore you have twenty four hours to vacate the apartment. Penny has graciously offered the use of her apartment since it is unlikely you will find an appropriate dwelling in less than the day you have remaining." Sheldon's arm had snaked around her waist and now he drew her close to his side.

"But, she, I, we, she..." The experimental physicist was almost speechless until he rallied. "I called dibs!"

"So did I," Penny retorted. "Dibs I, Sheldon." She grinned up at her new boyfriend. "According to the room mate agreement that makes this a tie. And Sheldon breaks all ties. Therefore you are moving out. A mover will be arriving tomorrow to remove your things and move mine in. You can rent a storage facility or you can take this apartment. But either way you're moving out."

Leonard sputtered incoherently for a moment and finally burst out, "But he doesn't have a deal, he can't be your boyfriend."

"I really don't think that's any of your business," Penny narrowed her eyes at him. "Now do you want this apartment or do you want to go and find a new one. Your stuff is out of Sheldon's place no matter what."

"You can't do this. You're required to give four months notice," Leonard was back to arguing about the roommate agreement.

"No," Sheldon shook his head firmly. "You, Leonard, as the roommate of the primary signatory of the lease, are required to give four months notice. I am not. I have spoken to the landlord and he is fully aware that you will be moving out and Penny will be moving in."

"She'll drive you crazy in a week, she's messy and unorganized and she can't even discuss physics with you." Leonard was on yet another argument.

"I'm certain that I will cope. After all, I am coping with the sudden downward trajectory of my career. Dealing with Penny's chaos will be child's play in comparison. And I cannot discuss physics with you either, obviously." The blue eyed physicist stared at his former friend. "You will not be having beautiful, smart babies with Penny, imaginary or otherwise."

"Wait what?" Penny stared up at Sheldon and then down at Leonard. "What are you talking about sweetie?"

"Leonard called dibs on you and shortly after your acquaintance began, proclaimed that the babies you had together would be smart and beautiful." Sheldon stated calmly. "At which point I added the addendum that they were also imaginary considering you had shown no signs of interest in him."

"You know that's just creepy." Penny wrinkled her nose. "And besides the point. We're a little busy here packing up my apartment. You got any other arguments for us to shoot down?"

"You can't do this! You can't take Penny from me." Leonard was turning a bit red in the face and his volume was definitely going up.

Sheldon shook his head, "Leonard, your egocentricity amazes me. Penny is not yours. You did not buy her. Penny is my girlfriend. We have spent the day together. I spent last night with her in her apartment. If I use your methodology for determining a significant other Penny and I might as well be married."

"I'm egocentric? You were making us all crazy. You were picking at every little thing. So I screwed with your experiment. It's not a big deal. That doesn't mean you can take Penny." The experimental physicist shouted at his ex-roommate. "You can't do this to me!"

"I've done nothing Leonard," Sheldon regarded him coldly. "The situation you are in is of your own making. I am merely attempting to move on with my life as you recommended, if you'll recall. No big deal right?"

"Go away Leonard. If I were you I'd start packing." Penny began to shut the door, "Because the movers are coming tomorrow and if you don't figure out where you're going to stay you'll have to figure out how to get all your stuff off the landing."

Leonard's face was bright red and she seriously thought he was going to pop a blood vessel. "And if I tell the movers I'm not leaving what are they going to do about it? Possession is nine-tenths the law."

Penny took her cell phone out of her pocket and dialed, praying she looked calmer than she felt. "Well I'm calling the cops." She looked at Sheldon, "Sheldon, you call the landlord."

That sent Leonard storming back to the apartment, grabbing his keys and slamming the door shut before he stomped down the steps. Penny frowned, "Honey, don't hang up on the landlord all right? Tell him he needs to come and rekey your apartment. You've terminated the agreement already..."

She was aware of Sheldon studying her face with a concerned expression. "You think Leonard will attempt something untoward?"

"I think that he's going to have a copy of his key made right now. And you've got a lot of valuable stuff in your apartment. He looked pissed enough that he'd smash the hell out of your things or your face." She told him worriedly. "I'd feel better if the landlord switched out the locks on the door."

Sheldon nodded and she listened absently as he spoke with the landlord and finally hung up, a dissatisfied expression on his face. "He said that he can't get anyone over here to change the locks but that if we wish to incur the expense of a locksmith he will reimburse us for part of the cost." He was busy Googling on his phone and shortly afterwards began a conversation with a locksmith.

Penny began to clean up the remains of their meal and started her packing again, only looking up when Sheldon's call ended. "So you have a locksmith on the way over?"

"I do." Sheldon nodded. I've also received a text from Wolowitz asking 'WTF you and Penny are together?', with several emoticons I'm given to understand represent excitement, disbelief and shock."

"So Leonard went to them to complain," Penny nodded. "Where are they, did he say?"

"It seems that they are out drinking so that Leonard may 'drown his sorrows'," Sheldon made air quotes with his fingers. "If we are very lucky he will not return until late this evening."

Penny rolled her eyes, "Maybe we'll get really lucky and Leonard will hook up with someone and he won't come home until tomorrow."

Sheldon was moving towards the door, "I believe the locksmith is here."

She nodded and began to clean up the remains of their dinner. "If you'll keep him company I'll keep packing. Also, it might be a good idea for you to keep Dr. Gablehauser informed of what's going on. Since you can't actually help the locksmith why don't you email your boss. Leonard will probably end up staying with Raj or Howard. Also ask him if he wants you at work tomorrow or if you should still stay home a couple days like he said."

The blue eyed physicist nodded, "If you'll lend me your extension cord I'll bring my laptop into the hallway."

Penny watched him for a moment as he proceeded to do just that and smiled to herself. She could hear him explaining to the locksmith what was going on before he settled himself on the steps to type his email. The locksmith sounded a little dazed but willing so she wouldn't have to go out and facilitate matters. Back to packing it was then.

 


	2. Part II

Waking up the next morning was in a word, disorienting. For a moment she could only blink and stare around her. Shelves with bins of carefully protected comics, professionally framed and matted artwork on the walls and more shelves of collectibles. In her caffeine deprived state she almost panicked until the arm around her middle tightened and she remembered. Sheldon.

Sheldon had not, contrary to her expectations, driven the locksmith crazy. Apparently the man had seen much worse than Sheldon at his most finicky. Sheldon had used most of the time to compose an email to his boss but he hadn't sent it until Penny had time to look it over. In the interests of facilitating communication he'd said. She'd had to suggest a few changes, pointing out that Dr. Gablehauser didn't need a blow by blow of their day, just a general synopsis of their decision and the conversation with Leonard.

"If Leonard goes to CalTech and raises a big stink Dr. Gablehauser will want to be forewarned," She'd explained. "And if he wants to know details you can give him a transcript of the conversation. The biggest question is whether or not he wants you at work tomorrow. If he does I can stay with the movers because I don't work until the dinner shift."

Sheldon had nodded, making the changes and sending the email off. He'd fidgeted for a few minutes before suggesting that Penny should spend the night with him in the newly rekeyed apartment since Leonard did have an emergency key to her place. Pointing out that Leonard hadn't been angry with her had only resulted in Sheldon trying to overwhelm her with facts and statistics about the dangers of a single woman living alone.

She smiled to herself, he was about as subtle as a rock to the head. But he didn't want to ask her to stay with him so he wouldn't be alone, that wouldn't be manly. Allowing herself to be persuaded led to him escorting her with a carefully packed overnight bag to his room. "Penny, if you're going to be my girlfriend we should begin to accustom ourselves to sharing a bed." He'd pointed out when she'd gone for the couch.

"Seriously Sheldon? I thought people couldn't be in your room." Penny had just looked at him.

"You're not people. You're Penny. You're different." Sheldon had looked almost confused for a moment.

That had been enough to convince her. She'd always had a soft spot for Sheldon. Strikes and prank wars aside, she understood him a lot better than the guys thought and he, regardless of his ticks and phobias, got her. The kiss he'd given her, a sweet little caress of his lips, no tongue or grabbing, had set her heart sputtering and jolting in her ribs. And when she compared that feeling to the making out she'd done with Leonard before Sheldon had interrupted them, it was no contest. It might be surprising to everyone else, but not to her, that Sheldon won hands down.

Trying to pinpoint why went right back to Sheldon's words last night. She was Penny to him. That was enough. Leonard had tried to date her, dated a girl who was technically Howard's and tried to pursue the whore upstairs. As if she was replaceable as long as the next girl was at least as pretty as she was. She wondered if he'd ever thought of her as a friend. Sheldon didn't think of her like that.

Sheldon was also willing to make compromises for her. Sleeping in the same bed with her was just the tip of the iceberg. The biggest one was her refusal to sign a roommate agreement.

"Penny, how will we know who's responsible for what if we don't have an agreement?" Sheldon had been absolutely appalled and she'd just grinned at him.

"Honey, having ground rules is one thing, like splitting the cost of utilities and groceries. That's what couples do. But if you trust me then you don't need a huge long contract. I trust you to not leave me out if you become a superhero. Can't you trust me to help you if you become a robot or we need to fight zombies?"

"But how can we know?" Sheldon sat down, hands twitching helplessly and she'd taken them in her own, big bony hands that never tried to grab at her or yank her around.

"We're best friends and we trust each other. To have each other's backs no matter what," Penny smiled at him. "We'll never be able to think of everything that can happen. But we can write down that we will always try to help each other. No matter what. Which means if you need me to order food or drive you to work I will. And if I need you to help me with my computer or organize my finances you will. Its what friends do honey. And especially what boyfriends and girlfriends do."

Sheldon had taken a deep breath and begun to type up a very, for him, simple agreement. It had outlined their responsibilities in rent, utilities and groceries. He'd put in that since she would be doing the driving that he would pay for all internet and cable. "Penny, I don't wish to seem rude, but... it seems that often you don't have food in your refrigerator."

"Because I don't have the money for groceries all the time sweetie. Sometimes I eat at work, and other times you guys have treated me," Penny shrugged. "I wouldn't be able to afford take out all the time otherwise."

"I think I see." Sheldon nodded and began to type again. "Since we both like to cook, I will devise a menu for the week, with your input of course, and we can eat at home more often, as it will be less expensive. On the nights that we do takeout, I will pay for your portion since most likely you will be picking it up." He looked at her with a half smile, "Of course, since you are my girlfriend I will be happy to treat you if we decide to deviate from our menu of the week."

She'd had to give him a little kiss on the cheek at that, and he'd taken it pretty well, smiling as spots of red appeared on his cheeks. "I was thinking honey, we could also help each other stay in shape. I do yoga and weight training, but you've got the game system and we could do aerobic exercise with the fitness programs that come with it. Healthy body healthy mind right?"

He'd nodded cautiously and made a little note in their contract about mutual encouragement towards a healthy lifestyle. The rest of the discussion had revolved around cleaning responsibilities and time in the bathroom, with Penny reminding him of her varying schedule and how it could affect his precise lifestyle. His sigh had been exaggerated just enough to make her laugh but he'd agreed that trying to regiment her wouldn't work.

His arm tightened around her middle again, drawing Penny out of her thoughts. "Penny?"

As it was before eleven his caution was warranted but she chuckled sleepily. "It's okay honey. The eleven o'clock rule only applies if you're not in bed with me." She turned in his embrace and smiled up at him. "I was just thinking about us."

He looked slightly uncomfortable but didn't jolt or pull away from her so she considered that a fair amount of progress. "Have you changed your mind about being my girlfriend? We haven't had a date yet and it occurs to me that you might find that somewhat irritating."

"We went to lunch yesterday and you kissed me afterwards," Penny propped her head up with one hand. "You said you felt you'd be lucky if I agreed to be your girlfriend. Paraphrasing what you said of course. And we haven't had sex so I don't feel like you're taking advantage of me."

"That's true..." Sheldon thought a moment. "We wrote our agreement as if you were already my girlfriend. While not a binding contract we are behaving as if it was. If you are agreeable I would like to continue as we are."

Penny nodded, "I like that idea but I want to make sure we understand each other honey. I don't mind us moving slowly but I want you. I want us to have sex and work towards being a couple in every sense."

She watched as Sheldon took that in and appeared to come to a decision, waiting nervously for him to speak. Instead he dipped his head down to hers and kissed her, his mouth hot and sweet against hers. "I cannot guarantee that we will move quickly, but I do not think we will have too much difficulty in achieving coitus."

Restraining her sigh Penny shook her head. "Honey, we can call it sex, intercourse, making love...even fucking but not coitus. Please. It's too clinical and to me it should be the least clinical act in the world."

If Sheldon thought she was crazy, at least he didn't say so, he just nodded and she could almost see him filing that away in his brain. "All right. I'll endeavor to change my vocabulary." His hand, gentle and careful as he always was with her, tuck a lock of her hair behind her ear. "I regret that we cannot spend more time like this but I did not hear Leonard attempting to access the apartment last night so he will likely show his face this morning. I think we will wish to be dressed when he does arrive."

Penny groaned but nodded, "I'll get dressed and head over to my apartment to shower and change. That way we don't have clashing bathroom schedules this morning."

"A good idea. As I will likely be finished before you I will begin breakfast. I took the liberty of moving the eggs, bacon and milk to my refrigerator. Do pancakes sound good to you?" Sheldon began to get up.

"Sounds awesome sweetie. I'll be back in half an hour...ish?" She grinned at him.

"I believe your 'ish' means it will be more likely forty five to fifty minutes but it is an acceptable adjustment," He smiled back at her and Penny grabbed her bag, checking the hall before hurrying into her own apartment, locking the door behind her.

* * *

 

They were fortunate in that Leonard didn't show up until after they were done with breakfast. Sheldon was measuring out Leonard's bedroom and devising a closet system for Penny's shoes and clothing so her 'colorful fashion chaos' would remain 'contained' while she dealt with the breakfast dishes and heard the sound of a key not working in the lock. Luckily Sheldon heard it as well and hurried to the door, jerking it open before Leonard could clue to the fact that his key wasn't working.

"Honestly Leonard, your comings and goings have no rhyme or reason to them whatsoever." Sheldon told him in a cross tone.

"Well I don't have to account for myself to you. And we all have to go into work today, Gablehauser wants to hear about the trip." Leonard stalked off to his bedroom and Penny rolled her eyes.

"Check your email and see if Dr. Gablehauser wants you to go into work too," Penny suggested.

Sheldon nodded, "A sound suggestion Penny." Logging onto his desktop revealed that Dr. Gablehauser did not expect him to come to the meeting and wished him luck with the move.

"You'd better stay here so that Leonard doesn't try to lock up by himself. You can follow him out and go to my apartment afterwards. Let him think you're getting a ride from me." Penny put the last of the dishes away. "I'll keep packing my things up. When are the movers coming?"

"They should be here at nine thirty." Sheldon pocketed his keys and proceeded to lock down his desktop computer, putting his laptop in his bag. "In order to arrive at work on time Leonard will need to leave the apartment by eight thirty."

Penny nodded and kissed his cheek. "Okay, see you in a bit then sweetie." Worried as she was about how Leonard would treat him it was harder than she thought to leave the apartment.

* * *

 

Sheldon, as usual when it came to schedules, was absolutely right. At just about eight thirty she heard the apartment door across the landing close firmly and the sound of someone stomping down the stairs. Sheldon's triple knock came only moments later.

Waiting for him to finish his knock was harder than usual this morning but she managed to stop herself from jerking the door open ahead of time. "How did it go?"

"Leonard informed me that the roommate agreement would never hold up in court, that he paid his portion of the rent for the month and he refuses to move out." Sheldon, thankfully, gave her the information she was looking for. "Your ruse of following him out the door while he was in a temper kept him from realizing the locks had been changed, so well done."

Penny nodded, "Yeah I noticed that when we were dating. Leonard tends to assume things based on very little information." She indicated her living room. "So I took most of the old magazines down to the recycle bins. I've been boxing up shoes and clothes so far. Did you want to bring my kitchenware or leave it?"

Sheldon looked at her pots and pans critically but nodded, "I think keep them. You're used to cooking with them and we have the room. And more dishes are always welcome in case of accidents."

Penny nodded, "Plus it's not like I have a ton of kitchen stuff." She began to strip the bed, folding away the sheets and comforter, her Care Bear collection in a plastic box of their own.

"I think we should be done packing by the time the movers get Leonard's things out of the way." Sheldon nodded in satisfaction. "Would you like to use Leonard's room as a sort of office? Keep your bed and entertainment unit in there? With a little rearranging it would make a nice dressing room/office for you."

Penny considered that and nodded slowly. "I think the bed, couch and dresser yes, the entertainment center, we could move it to where Leonard's desk is and put your TV and game systems and stuff on it. It would fit pretty well there right?"

Sheldon was obviously thinking that over and nodded slowly. "Assuming you don't mind using your laptop while you're sitting on the couch."

Her grin came without a thought, "That's what I usually do honey. And we can put my TV in the bedroom with my dresser and bed so it can be a guestroom in an emergency."

"That would require you to leave space in the closet." He grinned at her. "Are you certain that's what you wish to do?"

Penny groaned, "That's not an easy decision Sheldon."

His amusement was obvious as he continued to pack her things, "I have a good idea of your belongings now. It should be simple enough find a closet system to accommodate them."

"You've got a lot of things too honey," She reminded him as she stacked boxes of shoes by the door and went to pack up her bathroom.

"I do. And I'm confident that we will find a way to live together." Sheldon told her calmly. "Would you like me to label and pack your music and DVD collection?"

"Please," She called from the bathroom. "You don't have to label them though honey. Just be really careful with my records. They're the only reason I bother with a record player at all. Some of them are really good."

"I will be exceedingly cautious with them." Sheldon's voice was approving. Penny grinned, it was nice to impress him sometimes. And if anyone could understand the value of a collection it was Sheldon.

* * *

 

In the end the movers made short work of packing up Leonard's things. Sheldon contacted the landlord and informed him that they were going to assume Leonard would take over Penny's apartment but if he didn't they'd have to break her lease. It was lucky that Penny's lease was nearly up so she wouldn't be out too much money with the loss of her security deposit. Assuming Leonard decided to cut off his nose to spite his face.

Moving simultaneously might have seemed complicated to anyone but Sheldon. He directed the movers, having them pack Leonard's things up and move them to the landing while Penny's were moved in. Then Leonard's things were unceremoniously deposited in Penny's old apartment. Penny left her key in the apartment and realized that Sheldon was correct, the emergency key for her place wasn't in the boy's apartment, so Leonard must have it.

"Penny I believe we have accomplished as much as we can today," Sheldon noted. "While there is still much to be done your furniture is in place and looks, quite nice actually." He was looking around the apartment they were now sharing and nodding in satisfaction.

Penny had to admit, it didn't look bad. Sheldon had rearranged the desk and cabinet in what had originally been the dining room to make room for her table so she could do her Penny blossoms. Or work at her laptop if she didn't want to be at the couch with it. Since the chairs were definitely Leonard's they'd brought hers over and the colors brightened up the apartment. Her entertainment center fit quite nicely with Sheldon's TV and gaming systems along with her record player.

Her music and movies occupied the shelves along side Sheldon's and the records fit in nicely with the boxed game sets. Even her pillows looked good on the couch.

"We did good," She nodded still looking around. "I think, if you don't mind me having a shoe cabinet under that other window in your room that my things will fit pretty well. If you were serious about me using the coat closet for my boots and winter things. And you're sure my exercise bike is okay in front of your DNA model?"

"If I need to look at the model for some reason I can move it." Sheldon smiled at her, his expression more open and affectionate than she was used to seeing. "You're letting me use the bike and that's a good place for it so we can see the TV while we exercise. And we never use the coat closet for guests; it makes sense for your winter things."

Penny grinned resting her head on his shoulder. "I just like the idea of having a room for when Missy or your mom comes to visit."

"Which is why I intend to go through my closet and have a system designed so there is room for the both of our things. We can use the 'guest' room closet for your party clothes and shoes and thus keep room for guests belongings. I can do something similar with my costumes. Perhaps rolling storage cases for under the beds." Sheldon mused, making a list of things for them to do. "Then our closet will have plenty of room for your uniforms, workout clothing and clothing appropriate for everyday wear and your auditions."

Penny was leaning forward to kiss him when they heard a key in the lock and the subsequent cursing that meant Leonard had realized he could no longer enter the apartment. "His timing could be better," She groaned and went to the door.

"Penny, I'd rather you didn't grant him access to the apartment," Sheldon told her in hushed worried tones.

"I'm not sweetie, don't worry." Penny looked out the peephole and sighed. "Go away Leonard. Your things are in my old apartment. If you don't want to live there you're free to move out. But you don't live here anymore."

"It hasn't been twenty four hours yet," Leonard's voice was furious and even through the fishbowl glass of the peephole she could see his face turning red.

"Yes it has. Sheldon printed out the agreement at three in the afternoon yesterday." Penny had seen the copies with the time and date stamp so she wouldn't be fooled. "It's not our fault if you didn't take it seriously. Go away Leonard or I'll call the cops."

"You can't do this to me, I'm calling the police!" Leonard shouted.

"Go ahead." Penny rolled her eyes, turning to see Sheldon already on the phone.

* * *

 

Penny collapsed onto the couch and buried her head in her hands. She was aware of Sheldon setting a mug of hot tea on the coffee table and patting her back, reverting nervously to 'there there, Sheldon's here', as his method of comfort. "I just can't believe he did that. He called me a whore."

"You're not, you could never be," Sheldon's voice was fierce even as he patted her gently. "The officers didn't believe him and the landlord corroborated our side of the story."

"I know, it's just going to be...really uncomfortable." Penny thought she had a true talent for understatement and Sheldon must have thought so too because he gave his little half laugh of amusement.

"Leonard will do his best to make our lives a misery until something is done about him." He confirmed. "I believe he will not be here for long though. He won't be able to keep the apartment for more than a couple months after he loses his job. And I doubt the physics department will keep him."

The knock on the door was quiet, almost too normal sounding after the evening they'd had, and they both startled. "I'll get it." Sheldon cautiously looked through the peephole and sighed. "It's Koothrappali and Wolowitz."

"You may as well let them in, unless they're here for Leonard." Penny told him tiredly.

She watched as Sheldon opened the door, his expression chilly, "I must warn you that if you are here to try and make Penny or I feel bad that you are wasting your breath."

Penny looked at both of the guys tiredly, standing up to remove one of her beers from the fridge and handed it to Raj. "I don't have the energy to go through anymore bullshit tonight guys."

Raj hurriedly took a sip and hastened to speak. "Penny, we are not here to upset you. We just came over because we wanted to tell you both again that we're sorry."

Wolowitz nodded, "I mean, I don't think it's cool that you basically stole Penny from Leonard, but that's not why we're here."

Penny frowned at him, "He didn't steal me. I cared about Leonard. Or...you know, maybe I cared about the nice guy he was pretending to be so he could get into my pants." She folded her arms. "Can you really say that love is Leonard's primary motivation here? He stole Stephanie from you Howard.  And when Alicia moved in he was panting after her.  To me it looks like his only driving force is getting laid with the hottest chick he can find. Not that he's in love with me."

That shut Howard up about them dating at least and she turned to Raj. "Well?"

"I always thought you and Sheldon had chemistry," Raj shrugged. "You two got each other and riff off each other and you just... I think you just fit well." He looked at Sheldon. "You weren't at work today."

"I was told by Dr. Gablehauser that I shouldn't come in." Sheldon took a seat next to Penny and looked at the two of them.

"We were called into Dr. Gablehauser's office," Howard took a seat in one of Penny's chairs while Raj nervously took the other. "He wanted to hear about the Arctic. About what led us to the 'miraculous' discovery."

"And what did you say?" Sheldon sounded interested and Penny watched their faces.

"At first... not much," Howard sighed. "But after a bit of talking, we told him the truth." He looked at Sheldon, "We shouldn't have gone along with it. It was an accident at first. Open a can of tuna and you get positive results?"

Raj nodded, "You know how it was a couple weeks of nothing, then you got that blip, and a few more days of nothing? That was when Leonard figured out that the can-opener had given you a false positive." He sighed, "And he got the 'bright' idea of running the can-opener while you were doing your tests."

Howard nodded, "We explained that to Gablehauser, and at first we didn't realize that Leonard was running it while we were doing the experiments. It was only when he had to go with you and he told one of us to run the damn thing that we were brought in on it. And then..."

"Then you were so happy, getting results, that we just... well Leonard didn't want to stop and we... " Raj frowned, "We didn't know how to tell you."

"How about, 'Sheldon, Leonard is screwing with your experiment and now he's dragged us into it'." Penny rolled her eyes. "Or even, 'Sheldon those results you're getting aren't real'? Those could work right?"

"I would have confronted him and that would have been-" Sheldon didn't get any further when Howard interrupted him.

"Dangerous." He snapped, "It could have been dangerous. Leonard was... he talked about wanting to kill Sheldon. I mean Raj and I, we joked about stabbing you with an icicle or making a harpoon, that sort of thing, but Leonard..."

"He said if we didn't keep you happy you'd be unbearable." Raj muttered miserably. "We told Dr. Gablehauser all this. We shouldn't have done it. We should have stopped Leonard. But we didn't. We're on probation. Everything we've touched is under review. And we'd better not even think about tenure for a good long while."

Howard nodded glumly, "Gablehauser told us the only reason we weren't fired on the spot was our honesty about the whole thing. And our story matched the data results you had. If we'd varied one bit we'd be out on our asses."

Sheldon was simply looking at them and Penny took his hand, "And what do you want? You want Sheldon to trust you? Or speak up for you?"

"What?" Howard looked genuinely startled at the thought and Raj shook his head. "No, we're not here to ask him to do anything. We just... we wanted to tell him what's going on. So he knows that he's not going to be the laughingstock Leonard keeps saying he'll be."

Raj rolled his eyes, "That's all Leonard has been saying since you sent that email. That you'll have to retract it and everyone will laugh at you. That you aren't as smart as you think because you got fooled by a can-opener."

Penny sighed and shook her head, "Leonard is... not a nice guy." She picked up the tea Sheldon had made her and sipped it. "And I feel like an idiot for ever thinking he was."

"You weren't the only one he fooled," Howard shrugged. "We thought he was a nice guy too. That he was our friend."

"I've got fifty bucks that when Gablehauser asks him about the Arctic he lies and then he tries to pin the blame on us." Raj commented glumly. His eyes had been roving over the apartment and he patted the colorful chair he was sitting in. "By the way, I really do like what you've done with the place. It was so dull before except for the memorabilia and collectibles. Now it looks cheerful."

Sheldon patted her hand, "Penny's more cheerful in her decor. More colorful. She has more imagination."

Penny smiled at him, "Sheldon's going to help me stay organized, set up a budget, that sort of thing."

Howard sighed, "Well I'm glad you're all right Sheldon. You and I might not like each other much but I'm glad you're all right."

"I don't dislike you Howard, we just don't get to talk much without Leonard around." Sheldon shrugged uncomfortably.

"Leonard's very good at making himself look good at the expense of others," Raj commented quietly. "He's very manipulative."

"He learned from the best," Penny muttered as she recalled his mother with a shudder of revulsion.

"Indeed," Sheldon agreed. "Much as I admire Dr. Beverly Hofstadter professionally as a parent she leaves much to be desired."

Howard rolled his eyes, "Okay yeah, so his mom's a piece of work. We've all got issues. That doesn't give him the right to screw us over."

"No, it doesn't," Penny sighed. "So when is Dr. Gablehauser going to talk to Leonard?"

"Tomorrow," Howard told her. "I guess you should check your email Sheldon, just in case he wants to see you too."

Raj stood. "Let me know if he does, I'll stop by and give you a ride to work." He paused a moment, "I know I'm not the strongest person in the world. I'm sorry I wasn't more forceful about you waiting to send that email. And that I couldn't stop what happened in the Arctic."

Howard sighed, "Yeah, me too. I've got a bad habit of going along with things that aren't good because I don't want to make waves."

Sheldon nodded, "Offering me a proper apology makes you both stronger and more decent men than many others of my acquaintance. Thank you." Penny watched as he took a deep breath, "I don't know how much I can trust you, personally or professionally. But...after some time I would not be averse to finding out."

Raj nodded, "That's fair. I meant it about the ride though Sheldon. If Penny can't drive you, you can always call me."

"That's very kind of you Raj," Sheldon gave them both a small smile.

The two left with remarkably little fanfare and surprisingly, or maybe not considering the conversation they'd just had, did not go over to see Leonard in Penny's old apartment. Penny looked at Sheldon, "So that was a bit unexpected."

"Again, your talent for understatement overwhelms me," Sheldon sat next to her and smiled. "Raj is right though, I like the color."

"Hmm..." Penny nodded. "Yeah, it looks good. But what do you think of those two? Opportunistic or genuine?"

"It's hard to say," Sheldon had his thinking face on. "They tend towards opportunism as a lifestyle. I'm more interested in your read of the situation."

Penny shrugged as she considered what she'd seen and heard that evening. "I think Raj is genuinely sorry. Howard is sorry but he's also irritated about the whole mess. I think he just wishes he hadn't gone in the first place."

Sheldon patted her back. "I trust your ability to ascertain motivation more than my own at the moment." She smiled as he kissed her forehead. "It's been a long day. Why don't we go to bed."

She nodded in exhaustion, grateful he'd given her chamomile tea. "That's a good idea. But first check your email, maybe Dr. Gablehauser wants you to go into work tomorrow. I'll use the washroom and get changed while you do that."

Sheldon read as fast as he thought so they were both climbing into bed before long. "Dr. Gablehauser is asking me to come by tomorrow afternoon. He asked if you would accompany me. He said something about keeping me calm."

Penny thought a moment, "I'm on an evening shift, so I'd have to be at work by six. Do you think that's doable?"

Her sweet adorkable boyfriend nodded, "I'll bring an extra pair of pants just in case I need to take the bus home."

"That works. Though you could always take Raj up on his offer of a ride," She reminded him quietly.

"I am hesitant to obligate myself to him," Sheldon murmured, turning so he could put his arm around her middle and hold her tight to his body. He was warm and strong against her, his wiry body not all angles the way she'd once thought he'd be. "But I might consider it after some time."

"Maybe you could invite Dr. Gablehauser to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory," Penny murmured back. "He could give you a ride there."

Her boyfriend chuckled softly, "I might." His lips pressed to her cheek, jaw and neck. "Good night Penny."

"G'night Sheldon. Love you," Penny mumbled without another thought, falling asleep far more easily than she might have thought.

* * *

 

She realized what she'd said when she woke up the next morning. Remembered how Sheldon had stiffened and then relaxed against her, whispering in her ear. He was already awake, out of bed and she could hear him moving around in the kitchen, the smell of coffee brewing reaching into the bedroom. It wasn't easy to behave normally, pulling on a robe, pouring coffee and wishing him a good morning.

Sheldon regarded her calmly and handed her the milk, waiting patiently while she sipped and swallowed before speaking, "Penny, I surmise that you are attempting to 'gloss over' any awkwardness that might result from your words last night before you went to sleep."

Penny sighed, there was no getting anything past Sheldon. "Yeah sweetie, I… I don't say that unless I mean it and I just…I didn't want you to think that you were obligated to say it back you know?"

Her beautiful mind genius boyfriend moved towards her and put his hands on her hips, tugging her close and pressing his lips to hers gently. "I have never said it to anyone besides my family. But as you know, I don't lie very well, so I hope you will believe me when I tell you that I love you too."

She looked up sharply and examined him for twitching, seeing none and smiled slowly. "That makes me feel really happy sweetie."

"Hopefully as happy as I felt when you said it to me last night," Sheldon smiled down at her. "Now I believe we must hurry through our morning routines if we are to accomplish all our tasks and still arrive at Dr. Gablehauser's office in a timely fashion."

Penny nodded, "You had a list of the things we wanted to get done. I think we can fit most of the stuff in my car. But I know the container store delivers if we can't make everything fit."

"I don't believe it will be a problem," Sheldon offered her some cereal and she wrinkled her nose.

"Honestly honey, I've never done well with only carbs in the morning. Working on a farm most of my life we needed protein to start the day or we'd be exhausted by ten," Penny explained. "And really, eggs are cheaper than cereal. Turkey bacon is healthier than regular bacon if you're worried about pork."

"I shall adjust our grocery list accordingly," Sheldon nodded. "I believe I will attempt to add eggs to my morning meal since we're going to exercise together."

She grinned at him and clinked her coffee mug against his juice glass, "Healthy body healthy mind."

* * *

 

She couldn't say that was the last good moment of the day. They'd had fun in the container store, gotten the closets organized and made good use of the space under both beds. Lunch had been enjoyable as they'd tried a new Italian place that had opened up since it had an open kitchen that looked spotless. Penny had taught Sheldon one of her tricks for determining a restaurants cleanliness when the kitchen wasn't visible.

"You check the bathrooms honey," She explained as they shared a pizza. "A good restaurant will have a schedule for cleaning on the back of the door. And it'll have checkmarks too for when things are done. If the schedule is checked and the bathrooms are clean you can bet their kitchen and walk in refrigerators are clean too. The health department doesn't fool around with that stuff."

"That is very impressive," Sheldon had been extremely pleased to have another method of determining a safe restaurant. "I must pass that on to Howard and Raj, should the subject arise."

Lunch and the little kiss she'd pressed to Sheldon's cheek before they entered his boss's office had been the last good moment. Not that Dr. Gablehauser had been mean to Sheldon or rude. But Leonard had more than made up for it.

As Raj had predicted, Leonard had tried to blame he and Howard. Sheldon and Penny had exchanged looks when Leonard thrown the responsibility onto the guys he said were his friends. Dr. Gablehauser had simply nodded and motioned for Leonard to continue. Sheldon had opened his mouth but Penny had given his hand a squeeze and shook her head, leaning towards him to whisper in his ear, "Your boss isn't an idiot. He's giving Leonard enough rope to hang himself with."

Leonard had not caught her murmur but Sheldon had looked at the two other men and nodded to her, remaining silent. He'd kept hold of her hand though, and she could tell his temper was rising when his cheekbones began to turn red. Leonard was scoffing at the notion that Sheldon would ever prove string theory and calling him a second rate hack.

Dr. Gablehauser had regarded the shorter man with a steady gaze and Leonard trailed off uncomfortably. "I must say Dr. Hofstadter, I'm surprised that you accompanied Dr. Cooper if that is your opinion of his work and abilities."

"When we went I thought there was some merit to his work. But once we were there and running the experiment I realized just how much of a joke he was. I wouldn't be surprised if he put Wolowitz and Koothrappali up to it so he could get the results he wanted. He was certainly quick to proclaim his success." Leonard explained with a superior glance over at Sheldon.

"I see," Dr. Gablehauser sat back in his chair. "Dr. Cooper, what is your reaction to all this?"

"I find I am grateful you suggested Penny accompany me here, as she is the only reason I haven't hogtied Leonard to an anthill and coated him in honey." Sheldon's fury crackled through the air like ice and Penny patted his hand. "His entire story is absurd. Not to mention fictional."

"So you refute his recollection of events," Dr. Gablehauser was a very calm man. But then he'd have to be if he dealt with the likes of Sheldon, Raj, Howard and Leonard, not to mention Kripke and Leslie Winkle. Penny shook her head thoughtfully.

"I most certainly do," Sheldon nodded. "I am deeply disturbed by Leonard's actions and his attempts to conceal them. To sabotage another scientists work is unconscionable."

"I agree," Dark eyes regarded Leonard thoughtfully. "Dr. Hofstadter, it might interest you to know that Dr. Cooper and Miss Olsen came to see me the day after he returned from the arctic. They apprised me of what had occurred and how Dr. Cooper's belief of having proven string theory was sadly mistaken. He has brought me all the data gathered and I have gone over it carefully with two other members of the staff who are above reproach. I also spoke with Dr. Koothrappali and Mr. Wolowitz independently."

"I told you that he probably put them up to it," Leonard interrupted belligerently.

"You did," Dr. Gablehauser nodded. "And as you are insistent upon that version of events, I have no choice but to put this matter under review. Your behavior while employed here will be examined closely as will your actions in the coming weeks. I expect you both," He glanced at Sheldon as if in a polite reminder, "To remain professional. I don't believe the two of you generally work together so it won't be a hardship to avoid each other on campus. Dr. Cooper, if you have difficulties commuting to the campus due to your lack of a drivers' license, please email me. You can telecommute or we can arrange for a carpool."

Penny smiled, "I can give him a ride to work usually. And Raj said he'd give him a ride home if he needed one."

"Very good," The head of the department nodded. "Is there anything else?"

"He's thrown me out of the apartment without any warning," Leonard glared at Sheldon. "And stolen my girlfriend."

"As that is a personal matter it doesn't come under my purview," Dr. Gablehauser reminded him mildly. "I assume you had a lease agreement of some sort? Take it to a lawyer." He glanced at Penny, "Miss Olsen, did Dr. Cooper steal you?"

Penny rolled her eyes, "I don't see how he could. Leonard didn't buy me. He doesn't own me. So Sheldon couldn't steal me." She slanted a cold glance at the experimental physicist. "Leonard doesn't even really know me or like me. He just wants a pretty girl on his arm to show off so he looks cool."

"I've been in love with you since we met," Leonard burst out.

"How could you be?" Penny stared at him, "I'm not smart. I'm not educated." She remembered the girls he'd pursued all the while claiming to be in love with her and how he'd told her he didn't mind if she wasn't smart. "If you were in love with me, why would you date Stephanie? She practically moved in with you. If you were in love with me you wouldn't have paid any attention to Alicia and what she wanted when you'd promised me you'd help with my printer. You just want to get me into bed. I'm interchangeable with any other pretty girl."

"That is patently untrue," Sheldon's outrage was obvious. "You are not interchangeable. You're unique. You're Penny." He patted her hand, "Don't let him upset you."

"Aren't I supposed to be saying that to you?" Penny sighed and kissed his cheek. "Thanks though."

"Your personal life is not my concern Dr. Hofstadter," Dr. Gablehauser shook his head. "Miss Olsen is an adult. She can date who she chooses, and she's obviously chosen Dr. Cooper." He gave Leonard a look that should have made clear to the experimental physicist that he was on thin ice. "I expect you to keep your personal life out of the workplace. We're all professionals. Scientists. Let's act like it."

Leonard appeared about to protest when his boss shot him a look that even Leonard couldn't fail to read as threatening, "Dr. Hofstadter, don't make me regret allowing you to return to work until this situation is resolved. You are dismissed." When Leonard simply stared at him in shock Dr. Gablehauser sighed, "Leave this office Dr. Hofstadter." Fuming Leonard finally did as he was told and the department head sighed, "I'm sorry Dr. Cooper. I didn't expect him to brazen it out."

Sheldon shook his head, "Leonard will deny he did anything wrong until he is blue in the face." He echoed his boss's sigh. "I fear we are in for a long three months while everything is reviewed."

"I have no doubt of his involvement, and it is three to one, but we do have to follow procedure," Dr. Gablehauser said apologetically.

"Has he done this sort of thing before?" Penny asked Sheldon curiously. "Not to you, but I mean… screwed up other people's stuff?"

Sheldon was thinking, it was one of her favorite things about him, that he gave her questions serious consideration before answering, "I don't recall any instances of him bragging about sabotage. But I don't believe anyone has ever examined his work, or the work of the scientists around him for errors that are unexplainable." He considered a bit more and shook his head, "Leonard has done many stupid things in order to secure…sex from attractive women." He gave a half snort of derision, "He's the reason the elevator doesn't work in our building. He's lucky no one was killed."

"What?" Penny blinked at him. That was a new one, "How'd he do that?"

"In an ill-advised attempt to impress visiting scientist Joyce Kim, he brought home a sample of the rocket fuel he'd been working on. He didn't get to show it to her as I threw her out of the apartment before he could. As he still had it, he was going to use it in a model rocket Howard and Raj brought over. I doubt they knew he'd 'borrowed' it without permission." Sheldon explained patiently, "Unfortunately for our elevator he didn't do the proper math for the ratio of size versus fuel amount and the resulting explosion would have killed everyone in the apartment. I took the rocket, put it in the elevator and sent the elevator to the basement. The elevator shaft contained the explosion very nicely."

Penny stared at him, "Honey, there was an explosion in the elevator and you still let Leonard live there?"

Sheldon sighed, "At the time I didn't think it was anything other than a foolish decision on his part. Leonard was always doing something I considered foolish and after a while it became difficult to judge serious infractions against minor ones because it was all so subjective."

Dr. Gablehauser frowned thoughtfully, "Am I correct in thinking the fuel to which you're referring is the rocket fuel Dr. Hofstadter helped develop on the government's dime? Or billions of dimes in this case," He added sardonically.

"He mentioned it was for the government," Sheldon nodded. "I was surprised he'd risked bringing a sample home, it wasn't exactly per safety protocols. And I certainly didn't want it in the apartment." Looking at Penny he shrugged, "I'm all for scientific inquiry but there's a time and place and rocket fuel shouldn't be around flammable objects. Like the kitchen or me."

Penny nodded, "That's why you only do observation and your whiteboard right?"

"Exactly," Sheldon smiled, apparently pleased with her understanding. "The apartment is hardly the most secure place. I have no wish for someone to appropriate my theories and claim them as their own."

Penny glanced at Dr. Gablehauser, the man was rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "Dr. Cooper, would you recall the exact dates of the events you described?"

"I would," Sheldon took a notepad and began to write down a neat summary of dates and the events which occurred upon them, adding the date Joyce Kim returned to North Korea along with Leonard's disastrous rocket fuel miscalculation. "If you ask Wolowitz and Koothrappali they'll undoubtedly recall other details to which I was not privy."

Dr. Gablehauser took the notepad and perused it thoughtfully, "Dr. Cooper, I think this will prove to be very helpful." He began to type into his computer, "I'm going to continue with the review of the Arctic experiment, but we'll also be looking into Dr. Hofstadter's work and any pattern of malfeasance. Perhaps you'd like to show your girlfriend around the campus before she has to leave for work? If you'd return to your regular schedule tomorrow and avoid Dr. Hofstadter…"

Sheldon nodded, "I have no desire to interact with him. That shouldn't be difficult." He hesitated a moment, "What should I say, should anyone inquire about my email or the experiment?"

"Tell them that as with all experiments its being reviewed independently and that I am personally looking into the results." Dr. Gablehauser smiled, "It has the advantage of being the truth. If not all of the truth."

Penny patted Sheldon's arm, "You can manage that without twitching sweetie. Don't worry."

Sheldon nodded, "I think so." He stood, helping Penny up from her chair, "Dr. Gablehauser, I'll see you tomorrow. If you have anything further I may do to facilitate matters, please don't hesitate to email or call me."

The taller man rose from behind his desk, "I'll see you both out. Try not to worry Dr. Cooper. You're an asset to the university and I believe you're going to prove your theories. It might take some time but you're on your way."

"Thank you," Sheldon nodded, his hand gripping Penny's tightly.

* * *

 

Penny sighed as she climbed the stairs after her shift and fumbled with her key in the lock, only to have the door opened for her. Sheldon smiled down at her and helped her inside, putting her purse on the table next to the door and her keys in the bowl. "I've got some hot tea for you. And a nice bowl of soup. Something light so you won't get indigestion."

"Aw, thank you sweetie," She kissed his cheek. "Let me take a quick shower first okay? I had no less than three people dump food on me. I feel grubby."

"The microwave works just fine," Sheldon replied mildly. "Take your time. I have some news when you're done."

"News?" Penny blinked at him curiously, "Now I'm going to hurry."

His breathy chuckle followed her down the hall as she hurried off to shower. Ten minutes and a quick shampoo later she was back out in the living room with a bowl of soup and a mug of tea, waiting expectantly for Sheldon to tell her his news. "Well? Sweetie you're killing me here."

Sheldon grinned at her, "Today Dr. Gablehauser announced the results of the independent verification of my experiment. He spoke of our hard work and how difficult it can be for someone to remain calm and reasonable when his work has been sabotaged. He explained the circumstances and why I had sent that mistaken email and that he had asked me to not send a retraction until an investigation could be done."

"Yeah? So nobody's gonna make fun of you?" Penny forgot to eat her soup. She'd been so worried that Kripke and Leslie Winkle would give Sheldon a hard time.

"Considering Dr. Gablehauser found evidence to indicate Leonard had 'fooled with' at least one of Dr. Winkle's experiments she doesn't have a leg to stand on. And Kripke is on tenuous standing as it is, fighting robots are not considered an actual science." Sheldon explained, "Dr. Gablehauser ended his talk by telling everyone that Leonard is being dismissed for academic fraud and interference. And the NSA is in the process of arresting him for treason. They frown upon scientists trying to impress spies with rocket fuel and then using the fuel to blow up elevators."

Penny blinked in shock, "He's being arrested? He won't bother us ever again?"

"Not until they let him out of federal prison, which might be a very long while," Sheldon shook his head.

Penny smiled and leaned against him in relief. It had been three months and then some of tension and Leonard trying to get 'even' with Sheldon for 'stealing' her. Howard and Raj had been steadfastly ignoring their former friend and running interference for she and Sheldon. They'd gone to Dr. Gablehauser and told him about Leonard's stalking of Sheldon and Penny, explaining how uncomfortable both of them were. Sheldon hadn't wanted to complain and make things for difficult for himself or Dr. Gablehauser when the man was trying to act fairly and impartially.

Raj and Howard had really been doing their best to make up for the Arctic and be a better friend to Sheldon. As a result he was more considerate of them, and if he wasn't willing to trust them with his work as of yet, he found them to be good social companions. Penny had no doubt that eventually the three of them would be able to work together again. Sure it would take some time, and nobody would want to go back to the Arctic together (and who could blame them) but they were proving themselves to be trustworthy as much as they could.

Sheldon had been telecommuting for the last couple months. Today he'd been requested to appear on campus and Raj had given him a ride. Howard and Raj had proved to be good friends once Leonard had been shoved out of the circle. When Howard wasn't hitting on her he was funny and sweet. Raj could be very supportive and with one beer he made a great pal to watch her reality shows with. They could talk science with Sheldon and TV and movies with her. She was learning more about science fiction.

And she'd managed to show them a recording she'd gotten from her English teacher, of Keanu Reeves playing Hamlet, which had given them all a new appreciation of Shakespeare. And theatre in general.

She'd taken to helping Sheldon pick out his clothing for the days he had to be at the university or meeting with Dr. Gablehauser, pointing out that she'd 'toned down' her exuberant look for something more appropriate for work and that his boss would appreciate him making an attempt to look like the other scientists and professors. He could always wear his teeshirts underneath another shirt. A tweed jacket with suede patches had reminded him of Dr. Who and she'd pointed out some very nice slacks that were just as comfortable as khakis.

Howard and Raj had taken note of Sheldon's professional look and asked if she'd do the same for them. Within reason. She'd wanted to burn all their clothing immediately but restrained herself. Raj had some really nice clothes, but he seemed to wear them all at once. And Howard had never seen a dickie he didn't like. It turned out that was because he was hiding the scars from an emergency tracheotomy. His allergies were no joke and he'd nearly died when he was a little kid. No wonder his mom was so clingy.

It had taken a little time but she'd shown them some updated looks that were still 'them'. Howard still liked his seventies colors but paired with more neutral shirts or trousers he looked much more presentable. And Raj just needed someone to organize his closet and put his clothes into set outfits for him until he got the hang of western dressing. It didn't help that he was always cold after being in the heat and humidity of India. Showing him which shirts and sweaters went together and putting a blazer rather than a windbreaker over them improved his look a lot. He hadn't even needed to buy much. Although he'd wanted the excuse for a new wardrobe. When she'd offered to take him to look for a few things to compliment what he had he'd jumped at the chance. She'd ended up with a pair of Louboutin's as a thank you.

The only fly in the ointment had been Leonard. He showed up at the restaurant, followed her around, waited in the hall, on the stairs and by the mail boxes. She'd been on the verge of filing a restraining order or going junior rodeo on his ass, whichever felt right at the time. He'd been arrested just in time to keep her from castrating him.

"You're so going to win that Nobel," She told her boyfriend. "I can't wait to watch you make a speech."

"Please Penny, don't ruin the moment by mentioning public speaking," Sheldon looked pained for a moment before he kissed her. "Bazinga."

"I'll bazinga you, you whackadoodle," She giggled. "So you need a ride to work tomorrow?"

"Raj said he'd pick me up," Sheldon took her empty bowl and came back to the couch to kiss her. "I'm almost glad Leonard messed up my experiment," He admitted. "I might not have ever gotten the courage to kiss you if he hadn't."

"You would have," Penny told him with a smile. "You just needed some motivation."

"I believe I have all I need," Sheldon pulled her into his lap so she could share his spot. "Ten minutes of mindless entertainment news and then bed," He told her mock sternly. "We have a schedule to adhere to."

Penny giggled. Her boyfriend was a lot more strict about bedtimes now that they'd made it around the bases to home plate. And she didn't mind one little bit.

She rested her cheek against his collarbone as he changed the channel to the news. All was right with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So here we are, at the end. I hope you enjoyed it. I know that it might seem like Penny and Sheldon are moving a little fast but they've been friends for a while and sometimes that's just how it happens.


End file.
